Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
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