Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize