some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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