I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Randomize
