Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go

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(970): View more from Colorado

you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.

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(909): View more from California

dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.

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(214): View more from Texas

dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.

(603): View more from New Hampshire

it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.

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(708): View more from Illinois

we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though

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(843): View more from South Carolina

I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."

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(318): View more from Louisiana

What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.

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