i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
