we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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