I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
