but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
