He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I don't think brook has ever known best
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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