Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
