everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
this will be a night to untag.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
