i need an iv and a liver transplant
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
