I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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