all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize