Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
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