I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
he fucked my hip out of place.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize