You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
As shirtless as possible
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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