names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
