Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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