do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
