Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I'm like, not good at living.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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