is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
