How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
