Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
