Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
it was like eating out sand paper
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
