Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
