If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
