thus making me awesome and them whores
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
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