I'm laying in your front yard are you home
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
