is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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