Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
