I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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