Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
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