I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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