Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
