physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
