I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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