This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
