he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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