I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Randomize
