i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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