hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
