All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
