she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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