i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
