apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
