Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
