More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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