I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I just sucked dick on a ferry
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize