Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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