You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
