I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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