What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
