Is it normal to miss your booty call?
her vagine was all disorganized.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
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