I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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