This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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