Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
whose ass print is on the piano?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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