You're earring is so big in my mouth
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
