You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
The uberlube is also flammable
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
