I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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