I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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