Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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