you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Randomize
