So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
