Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize